The Universe Will Guide You If You Let It

I have been focused on a journey of self-discovery.  Some times more focused than others.  Finding my “why” has been part of a recent part of this pursuit.  One’s “why” is the core driver of how they engage in the world. What drives them to do what they do and be who they are? Last year, I had started to learn more about my “why” through an executive group in which I am a member.

On LinkedIn, I came across a workshop by Simon Sinek based on his book, Start with Why. As this is where I am today, I quickly signed up for the course.

The group was limited to about 60 people. When the host began the workshop, he had everyone share where they were located.  All these different states, countries and locations began to pop up in the chat window-Alabama, New Jersey, Washington, Slovenia, Australia, Denmark, Morroco to name a few. 

Then, the host shared the outline for the class.  He would take us through a workbook and pair us off to complete the exercises.  At the end, we will have a draft of our “why.” From some reason, this triggered my anxiety and I started to second guess being in the class.  I told myself that I had already done this type of work so there is nothing new here for me and it would be a waste of my time (though I think deep down I was uncomfortable with potentially being vulnerable with a stranger).

I talked myself through my hesitation by telling myself “to just stay for the experience because you never know where it will lead.” Boy, did this become a true statement by the end.

The host reviewed the first question and a co-host shared her answer to the question to help illustrate how it would work.  Then, the group shared their observations of the facts and feelings expressed in the story. With this, we were paired off to do the exercise and were given 20 minutes to share our stories.

I was paired with Safaa* from Morocco. We introduced ourselves and awkwardly fumbled through how to get started.  As she was hesitant, Safaa asked me to go first so I shared a recent experience that told part of my story.  As I shared the story, Safaa started to ask me questions.  Her questions were focused on pieces of the story that I hadn’t thought were relevant to the point I was making though I answered them anyways.  Again, be open to the experience.

Safaa drilled down on one aspect of my story in detail which confused me a bit.  I didn’t connect to why she felt this was an important element of my story.  This was my second lesson of the day.  It wasn’t important to me but it was important to her.  Safaa then shared that it was like looking in a mirror.  That what I had experienced is what she was currently going through.  She drilled down on the parts of my story that resonated with her and gave her inspiration that her feelings were justified.

We pivoted and I started to ask her more about her experience and what she was feeling.  Safaa almost began to cry as she felt validated for her feelings and the thoughts she was having about making a change. While I will not share her story (that is her’s to tell), I will say she was vulnerable with me and shared details that she hadn’t fully expressed to others.

As the time came to an end for this first exercise, Safaa and I had started to develop a trust which would guide us through the next exercises.

We were brought back into the main group and given an overview of the next exercise. When Safaa and I were put back into our group, our conversation picked up where we left off and we dug deeper into Safaa’s struggles, how she was getting support through this challenge and what changes she wanted to make. We talked about all those negative things we tell ourselves which hold us back. At one point, Safaa broke down and started to cry.  Her tears were a release, of feeling heard, of not feeling alone in her journey and of being unconditionally supported by me, a stranger.

While we didn’t follow the prescribed exercise, we touched on something truly meaning and profound.  We all face the same challenges and struggles in life regardless of where we live.  We all can unconditionally support each other through the tough times without judgment. We can all open our hearts to each other.

Our last exercise was to write a brief description of what we think is the other person’s “why” based on the conversations.  Safaa communicated that my “why” is “to promote personal growth and help people find solutions of their core issues to empower themselves and embrace who they are and believe in themselves.”  As we talked this through, Safaa told me that she sees this as my “why” because that is what I did for her in the short time we spent together and it is my gift.  I was truly humbled and honored to be paired with Safaa as she gave me so much that day. 

There was a reason why Safaa was brought into my world and me into hers. We both walked away with such a great gift.  It is something that will be part of me. (Also, a lesson in not judging or discounting an experience before it has happened.)  The universal is a very powerful and guiding force if we get out of our own way and let it be.

*Safaa’s name was change to respect her privacy.