A Story of Boundaries

Many of us don’t realize how badly we manage our boundaries. Boundaries are the behaviors that others cannot do to or around us. Strong boundaries empower us to lead a more fulfilling life. It isn’t about saying no. It’s about a line that cannot be crossed.

A client, Michael, had a boss, Salvador, who would constantly contact Michael outside of work hours. Michael felt the pressure to always be on call. If he didn’t respond, he was concerned he wouldn’t be seen as a team player. This caused Michael stress and anxiety and he started to burnout. He was so deeply caught up in the situation the only solution in his mind was to find a new job.

After talking through some pros and cons of changing jobs, we instead developed some strategies for having a conversation with Salvador. While he was anxious to confront the situation, Michael scheduled a meeting. Salvador hadn’t realize the impact his demands were having on Michael.

Expressing a boundary that protected his personal time, Michael’s productivity increased and his stress levels were more under control. It took some practice and reinforcement of his boundaries along the way. The balance in his life returned and he felt more energized.

Everyone deserves to have their boundaries respected and boundaries can only be respected when they are clearly (though not punitively) communicated. When we doubt ourselves or make excuses for others, our boundaries can be crossed.

How well do you understand your own boundaries? How effectively do you communicate them?

#coaching #boundaries